Thursday, April 22, 2010

Sticking to the theme of my blog which is 'Things I've never done before' I'm posting this latest video of me and Craig taking shots of wheat grass for the first time... it really did almost make me hurl. The Jamba Juice girls were very enthusiastic!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

After some effort I have videos of me on my way to obliterating my personal record for most oysters eaten in one sitting thanks to Craig my "I'll do anything for you" guy. It turns out changing the up/down orientation of a video shot with a cell phone isn't as easy as it sounds. Thanks Craig you're awesome.
I've been trying to figure out what it is that makes me want to read the random blog of some girl I don't know in Minnesota or wherever the hell in the midwest she lives. I don't even like girls normally but I keep coming back and checking her updates (which are frequent and lengthy, unlike mine) and laughing inappropriately while people tell me there's something wrong with me. I guess it's borderline stalker behavior but it's totally innocent, honestly. It's not like I'm ever gonna actually meet her- I would need a much better reason to buy a plane ticket to Minnesota and he hasn't revealed himself to me yet. Then I was reading some back logged entries and discovered her devotional review of Chelsea Handler's "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" and realized that we are both equally devoted fans of Chelsea Handler one of the funniest and ballsiest people on my short list of irreverent and confrontational, though slightly belligerent comedians who I'd like to have a weekend of hell raising with. Not only is Smart-Ass-Sarah also a devoted fan, and I know I'm going out on a limb making this claim having only read her blog, but she might be on par with Chelsea in terms of comedic strength and irreverence... I mean an entire blog entry that goes on for pages and pages is devoted to a tour of her house including pictures of her sock and underwear drawers, plus her fridge, pantry, bookshelves and way more- I'm not even touching on how neurotic this tour is (don't get me wrong I thought it was brilliant, though a little overwhelming)... and with each photo is a paragraph or more about what you're looking at... OK, I admit this is a little weird that I even care so Sarah, if you ever read this and start to worry that some guy across the country has taken too keen an interest in your life and introspections- even though you made them blatantly available for the world to see, before you go out and get a restraining order you should really look into publishing your work, maybe leaving out the descriptions of how you fold your thongs, and see who you need to sleep with to get your own late night TV show. I know I'm not the only one in the world who thinks you're a riot and your blog is a goldmine of pure genius masquerading as the outlet of a slightly neglected housewife. You are awesome and please don't eighty-six me if you ever read this.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Apparently the name of my blog has created some controversy with some people who have heard about it. My sis Bree says it sounds like the blog of a seriously obese prostitute. Robin, my friend who Craig calls 'the girl you used to date when you thought you were straight,' says to look out b/c she's gonna start a rival blog called 10TonsOfHate.

Last night I was offered the opportunity to break the record at Sandabs Restaurant for the most oysters eaten in one sitting. After hearing that the current record is 120 I decided to go for 30 instead. It's still a record for me. Photos illustrate---->
<------Craig offered entertainment and encouragement.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

OK so this blog has turned out to not be a daily thing because I'm more ambitious in planning than disciplined in execution. But the idea is to do more exciting or novel things so I can write about new things I've never done before and have it be worth reading so I think the real problem is inspiration not motivation. It takes work to always find new things to do but the world is not delivered to you when you sit and wait for it. So here are the things I've done in the last few days that I've never done before:

1. Went to an Easter brunch and should have stayed longer because it was fun to have some drinks and hang with the cool people I haven't seen in way too long... then for some reason left and drove two hours to have Easter dinner with my cousins and some family where we tried to think of Chuck Norrissisms, talked extensively about Betty White's comeback and ate a ton of food at a table that looked like it was decorated by Liberace.

2. Got my car out of impound. Fun.

3. Woke up from a dream in which I was reciting a poem and wrote down the lines that went like this:
In the morning a message washes up on shore
Telling what the future will hold,
Throughout the day so many bottles wash up on the shore
That the ocean becomes a sea of change.

It's not really much of a poem but for some reason It really moved me and I kept running it through my head after I had woken up.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Ok I'm off to a bad start and I already missed a day so I'm making up for it this morning. Got to get busy working too so it'll be short.
Yesterday I did this 1 new thing:

1. Went to a wine tasting with my good friend / boyfriend Craig, put on by a colleague of his... was the kind of place where I was definitely the youngest person there. Since we were special guests we got free drinks and food and took advantage of the fact. The pinot was great and so were the mimosas. Craig got a little frisky with the proprietor, Stacey, which is unusual for him but she was foxy and she loved it. Since I'm in Santa Cruz this actually counts as an eventful night out too by the way.