Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I've been trying to figure out what it is that makes me want to read the random blog of some girl I don't know in Minnesota or wherever the hell in the midwest she lives. I don't even like girls normally but I keep coming back and checking her updates (which are frequent and lengthy, unlike mine) and laughing inappropriately while people tell me there's something wrong with me. I guess it's borderline stalker behavior but it's totally innocent, honestly. It's not like I'm ever gonna actually meet her- I would need a much better reason to buy a plane ticket to Minnesota and he hasn't revealed himself to me yet. Then I was reading some back logged entries and discovered her devotional review of Chelsea Handler's "Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea" and realized that we are both equally devoted fans of Chelsea Handler one of the funniest and ballsiest people on my short list of irreverent and confrontational, though slightly belligerent comedians who I'd like to have a weekend of hell raising with. Not only is Smart-Ass-Sarah also a devoted fan, and I know I'm going out on a limb making this claim having only read her blog, but she might be on par with Chelsea in terms of comedic strength and irreverence... I mean an entire blog entry that goes on for pages and pages is devoted to a tour of her house including pictures of her sock and underwear drawers, plus her fridge, pantry, bookshelves and way more- I'm not even touching on how neurotic this tour is (don't get me wrong I thought it was brilliant, though a little overwhelming)... and with each photo is a paragraph or more about what you're looking at... OK, I admit this is a little weird that I even care so Sarah, if you ever read this and start to worry that some guy across the country has taken too keen an interest in your life and introspections- even though you made them blatantly available for the world to see, before you go out and get a restraining order you should really look into publishing your work, maybe leaving out the descriptions of how you fold your thongs, and see who you need to sleep with to get your own late night TV show. I know I'm not the only one in the world who thinks you're a riot and your blog is a goldmine of pure genius masquerading as the outlet of a slightly neglected housewife. You are awesome and please don't eighty-six me if you ever read this.


  1. OH spank me, baby! It'll take a lot more to freak me out. I have an entire POST coming up about the freaks I've encountered. OH my boobs and ass have encountered. Usually they don't talk to me just treat my b&a's like it's all you can eat buffet. Whatevs.

    I would totally be Chelsea's stalker if I could. It's probably a good thing I don't drink otherwise I'd likely know every police officer and ctiy/county jail in two states. I have no vocal filter as it is and say inappropriate things during weddings and laugh hysterically when people are seriously hurt or at a funeral. It's just funny and I can't help it.

    And you read my blog because I'm full of awesome and win. And I'm your lambwhore/goatslut leader.


  2. Yay for Sara love. I stopped by from her blog because she made me. Seriously. Pointed a damn gun at my head and told me I had to.

    Actually no she didn't. You see, if Sara told me to jump off a bride I probably would. Because, as you know, Sara is amazing. So when she said to go read your blog, I just did.

    She also told me to rob a bank once. Hm...

  3. haha, me too krysten, i'm here coz sara told me, and if you wanna be lik sara, you do what the leader says!

  4. I know Sara and she IS all sorts of awesome! Granted I haven't seen her since high school but I swear next time I go back home I am determined that we will hang out.

    P.S. you should swing by Minneapolis sometime, I'm sure you'll find tons of guys worth the travel

  5. P.P.S. You, Aaron, are also all kinds of awesome for living in SC, my home town. Officially following your blog now!

  6. I look forward to her blog posts as well because she is so freaking hilarious!!

    I happened across her by accident, and what a happy accident it was!!

  7. I just realized you must not have seen my review of Chelsea's "My Horizontal Life" which was a way better review. *wink, wink*


  8. she does go on and on doesnt she... hahahaha... she is funny, perhaps i'll go over there and pee in one of her planters outside her house...

  9. SARA is awesome! so glad i found her blog!!